The Butt Crack on Avenue Street
by KuroiDenki
Summary: All Might knows what he wants, and he wants it now. Warning: Contains crack. And actually has some plot.
1. Chapter 1

Attempt at crack. My first posted fic.

Hope you guyzz enjoy.

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Chapter 1: All Might is the embodiment of the American Dream

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All Might knew he was the ideal porn star, the pimp who could make everyone wet with one glance, who inhabited every one of his fans' wet dreams. But lately he needed some release, and he was going to get it, and get it good he will. Even though it would be one of the teachers he was violating tonight.

Breathing slowly, he stretched, transforming into his muscled form. He looked at the large mirror in his house to appraise his naked figure. Those toned muscles and wide pecs. Those strong legs. Those brilliant, dependable arms that could work anybody into a hot mess. And finally, those large, bushy eyebrows that were clearly a rip-off from JoJo's Bizarre adventure because the mangaka is an American weeb. So manly. Ahhh... His cock hummed, approving of his sexy form, precum already leaking from the red, abused tip he had been torturing throughout the day. His All Might jr., aka Brock, as he dubbed it. He licked his lips.

He was a god.

But as much as he wouldn't have liked to admit it, godly though he was, he was going to run out of patience soon. He didn't have time to think about dressing either, after the shower he had.

Yes. He was waiting all day, and now the time finally arrived. The evening during which he would finally get to release his beast. All Might jr. was roaring in his cage today, banging and bulging against the metal in which it was encased in. All Might decided it was time, and he released it from within its confines. All Might junior was finally... free. Biting back tears of fappiness, he reached out to pet it the way Brock liked it, stroking the little Brock, hoping it would be satisfied with this for now.

"Brock... I am so sorry for what happened. Suffering within that cage... It was tough for you, wasn't it? I understand... But now... You are finally free! And together, we can accomplish anything!" He declared, manly tears flowing down his muscular face. Brock was also crying, its fluids falling from the tip to the floor.

This would be an emotional learning experience for Brock, and Brock would come out stronger than before, prepared to face any obstacle in its path by penetrating its enemies.

"Now, let us go, to the teachers!"

He came out of the house the hero way, busting through its walls with a full-on body tackle. Brock was also strong. It flopped about, destroying whatever walls came in its path. Coming to the middle of the sidewalk, he crouched in a jumping position, stretching once again and preparing for takeoff. Then, like the hero he was, he jumped high, high enough to oversee the city from below. He was approaching his target with lightning speed. His wang also flopped about in the air, feeling the cold wind for the first time while unexposed.

"Just you wait. The American hero is going to save you today!" He roared over the wind to his All Might junior, hoping that the cock could wait a little longer until it was time.

A Japanese cherry boi was going to be fucked tonight.

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Top Ten Anime Emotional Moments

Cherry boy = Japanese term for male virgin

what have I done

to be continued...soon


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back guyyyyyys. Not much happening here but something important does so please be nice.

See end notes for Japanese translations you may not have understood.

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Chapter 2: When going to a party, bring your sidekicks with you

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All Might was still moving mid-air when a thought came to mind.

Midoriya-shounen.

That boy always seemed to blush when he was around that Ochacho—? Or was it Ochako? Choco? Oh well. He seemed to like the girl but always acted like a pussy around her, afraid to make any advances. All Might decided to visit him and take him on a little 'journey', so to speak, so he can finally learn how to be a proper young man.

He flew towards the Midoriya residence, and, giving out a warcry, with his leg outstretched before him in a downwards position, he aimed to break the roof tiles and landed in the middle of the room with a _thump_ , facing Izuku's bed. The boy in question appeared to be wanking himself out, concealing his lower region slightly under a light green and white striped blanket. The loud noise made him yelp as he made a sharp turn towards the general direction of the noise, attempting to erase any evidence of his sexual pleasure, cheeks even redder than before.

"MIDORIYA-SHOUNEN!"

Another yelp, followed by Izuku jumping in surprise at the loud bellow, thus unceremoniously falling off his bed.

"A-a-aall Might!"

"It's all right now. Because I am here!", he proudly reiterated his trademark phrase for the umpteenth time.

Izuku looked at the laughing man before him, and oh-my-god he was NAKED!

"All Might-sama! Why are you... Naked?! A-annd what are you doing here, at this late hour? And why did you destroy my house?"

"That matters not, my boy! Listen up!" Izuku straightened his back in a matter of seconds, the cheerful tone seeming somewhat commanding to him in any situation. Despite how confused he was, he would obey his mentor. He couldn't help but look down at that body, though.

"Midoriya shounen! You have a crush on that Chocolate girl, don't you?"

Hastily looking back up, he responded with a high-pitched squeak, like always. "Uhhh... Umm.. Choco—oh! Do you mean Ochacho? Y-yes, I do! She's even the reason I let the class call me Deku! But...she's just a side-character, she doesn't get much screen time for us to build a bond, and I don't really want to wait until the end of the series like Naruto did to finally become her, um, her, b-b-boyfriend! I don't know what to do..."

All Might came closer and crouched down, putting a hand on the boy's head.

"Midoriya-shounen, fear not, my boy! I will teach you what it means to be a man! Come with me, I will give you the courage to confess!"

"W-where are we going?"

"To the party!"

"The party...?"

"Yes! A place where you will have the time of your life!" All Might grinned. "Now, on my back! I will carry you!"

Midoriya, still dumbfounded but with a bit of hope mixed in, quickly pulled on his sweatpants, reached out for a tissue for his dirtied hand, wiping while wasting no time, and then got on All Might's back, wrapping his hands around the thick neck.

"Now, let us go, to the people who are waiting for us!"

And off they went, gathering further momentum as the other's hope blossomed in expectation.

* * *

'Midoriya shounen' is the equivalent of 'young Midoriya' or, as it translates for All Might, 'Midoriya, my boy'.

For those of you who either live under a rock or are the cancerous dub watchers, '-sama' is attached to a name to show great respect towards that person. Usually addressed to warlords in feudal Japan, yakuza leaders(don't ask me what a yakuza is), or customers in Japan. Yes, Japan has wonderful customer service. They treat them like gods and don't expect tips because perfect performance is considered a given for Japanese workers.

Not sure if all that background information was necessary.

So...

Shit is about to get fucked up, if it wasn't already before.

Midoriya has hope now.

Top Ten Anime Inspirational Love Life Advice Moments?

More coming soon. But first I have finals so might take a while.


	3. Chapter 3

Actually, there is a normal paragraph for once in this chaotic story, and it's right at the beginning. Say hello to Hizashi, who is probably the only normal(or is he) one out there, uncontaminated by the cancerous crack. Let's see if he will last. So please take a moment to invigorate your mind and take a slight intermission as you read this masterpiece known as Hizashi's artistic, inner dialogue. Before it all goes down on the highway to hell.

For those of you who miss Brock (and I don't know if anyone does? Like, Brock is, like, the star of the show here? I thought everyone would be talking about him... :( )he will be back as well later.

I miss Brock.

(And yes, Brock is a character now)

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Chapter 3: Before doing naughty things, be sure to always ask for permission first!

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Hizashi was just about ready to engage in some romantic smooching for the first time in his life. Well, it's not that he hadn't ever kissed before, as much as small pecks and nibs can count as kisses, but this was the important moment that had to absolutely pass, as he had been preparing himself for it ever since he and Aizawa started dating. It was a special night, a first for the both of them, and who knows, maybe on the way they would engage in something more.

Overall, a very gentle chemistry existed between the two of them. In their intimate lives, Hizashi, despite being a loud, retarded microphone that couldn't close his mouth for one damn moment and just had to comment on everything in an excited, announcer's tone, much to the annoyance of his silent companion, he was actually the more timid and delicate one in the relationship, preferring not to rush anything, especially when it came to moments that would be shared between him and his lover, who spoke in hushed tones next to his ear, chapped lips brushing his neck, speaking sweet words reserved only for him, and for him only. He enjoyed being in this type of... Quiet. It calmed his nerves and let him wind down after a day of constant yelling. His throat had a constant uncomfortable itch to it, painstakingly slow at healing despite him being used to his daily routine of cheerful screaming for years.

As for Aizawa...

Well, Aizawa was just glad that an antisocial freak like him that scared children off for looking like a homeless hermit with dry, reddened eyes had finally found a friend, so he just rolled with it. And soon they started developing romantic feelings for each other. So here they were, about to share their first meaningful, sensual kiss.

The muffled shout of a "DYNAMIC ENTRY" was all Hizashi got to process before the wall of the fucking house EXPLODED into his face as a naked All Might and a boy who happened to be Midoriya Izuku entered his private residence.

What the actual fuck.

.

.

.

.

.

"I don't always visit people's homes, but when I do, I break the walls." All Might said in a smooth voice whilst doing an elaborate Jojo pose that was clearly defying gravity.

Izuku looked at the most interesting man in the world. Whatever he did, he was always so cool-looking!

He fell into another fanboying moment, pulling his notebook seemingly out of thin air and starting to jot down some notes while Present Mic tried to recover.

All Might turned to his kawaii airhead student. "Midoriya-shounen, I am also an entertainer. Bring out your camera, because we're gonna do some filming tonight.", he winked.

Izuku looked befuddled. "Wait, so what are you going to do, All Might-sama?" he squeaked.

"I'm going to show you what it means to be a man, my boy. Just sit back and watch."

Izuku did as he was told, picking an empty chair and once again did an ass-pull and procured a camera out of nowhere, no one really knew where it came from but Izuku, having experience with being All Might's stalker, was always prepared for situations like these. No one doubted him on that. He would be sure to capture every little detail, especially now that he has been given explicit permission to do so.

Aizawa was, as always, the incarnation of the living dead. He was unfazed by anything that had transpired, and that certainly wasn't making Hizashi any calmer, considering the situation.

"Aizawa-sensei, is it okay if we riled things up a little tonight? I'm sure you wouldn't mind."

"Go ahead. It's not like you're going to stop anyway. You destroyed the house and ruined the romantic moment so you should take responsibility for bringing back our libido again." He replied, voice monotone. He brought up a hand to his face and yawned lazily.

"What?!" The Microphone shrieked like a bird but was ignored.

"All right. Well then..." He gave the microphone a rape face.

"Shall we begin?"

Present Mic certainly did not know what he was getting into tonight.

* * *

Don't worry, no one's going to get hurt!

A dark plot is in the brewing... After taking some time off the story I thought about a lot of things, and after reaching enlightenment I have decided to orchestrate a full plot for the story. It hasn't been implemented into full effect yet, but after the sex scene next chapter we're gonna get a glimpse of some of that...*licks lips*... Some of dat stuff. Oh, we're going real deep in this shitswamp.

I'll try to make the sex scene hot.

Feel free to suggest anything you want me to add, nothing in this story makes sense anyway. I'll try to come up with more memes in the meantime, hopefully memes that everyone will understand.

These author notes are starting to take up half the fucking word count. Sorry for making you hope I actually wrote more than I did.


End file.
